


turntables

by Alltheroads



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Humor, But just a little, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Melodrama, Near Death Experiences, Overthinking, Talking about their feelings would solve the problem, Who doesn't have anxiety?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-06 16:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13415091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alltheroads/pseuds/Alltheroads
Summary: Almost dying on the battle field can do things to a person. Like confessing their love right before passing out from blood loss. Or at least, that's what Lance thinks Keith did. But when he attempts to ask Keith about it, he's gobsmacked to discover that Keith doesn't remember the bonding moment.ORKarma gets it's kiss for Lance.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is me, making my shitty pot. i'm working on writing for myself, for fun. this isn't something i worked THAT hard on, but i'm still nervous about posting it. i'm working on writing more often, and on writing in general. the next fic i do will have a more serious tone, but this one? probably would belong on the CW. regardless, i hope you enjoy this piece of garbage that is not beta read. thank you for tuning in!

“Lance, just stop,” This is a phrase that Lance has heard a thousand times before, but never in this context. This is probably the worst one so far. The tired request comes from Keith, who is currently bleeding out in his arms. Like with all the other times he was asked to stop, Lance continues onward, refusing to run out of steam.

“Shut up, Keith,” He retorts. This is not how they die. Keith doesn’t die on some random battle field. This isn’t even some liberation, or some big planned strategic attack. It was an ambush, one that they should’ve seen coming. One that should have gone a lot smoother than this. Instead, they’re all split up and their Lions are all miles away. But Lance can make it. He has to. He’s Keith’s right hand man and what kind of right hand man would he be if he let the team leader die? “We’re almost there so just shut your mouth, shut your fucking mouth,” 

Probably not the best right hand man if he talks to him like this, but in times of crisis, Keith usually only listens to him if he’s honest and brutal.  
“Stop,” Keith says again. His head is leaning on Lance’s shoulder. “Please,” 

So maybe running with Keith like this isn’t the best idea, but he has no idea what else to do. He just wants Keith to get into a healing pod. That gaping wound in his stomach isn’t going to stitch itself up. They can’t just stop. But the pain in Keith’s voice is so obvious that he does what every cell in his body urges him not to do. As gently as he can, he lays Keith on the ground. 

Now that he’s not running, he has to actually look at Keith, who looks like he’s… like he’s not doing so well. His skin is paler than usual, and his hair is sticking to his forehead from the sweat. Not to mention the fact that he’s not putting as much pressure on his wound as he should be. Lance puts his hand over Keith’s and presses. Just a little. The wince of Keith face almost makes him want to pull away. “This is just a break, okay? We gotta get you to a pod,” 

Keith laughs, though it comes out sounding more like a wheeze. “You’re joking, right?” Lance can feel his hand trembling. The blood is slowing down, but he’s already lost so much. “I’m not going to survive this,” He says it so frankly it brings the familiar rush of wanting to kick Keith’s ass floods his system. But Lance knows that that’s the last thing his friend needs.

“Yes you are,” Lance replies. But his words shake, and he can tell that Keith notices. “We… we’ve gotten through worse. All of us. Remember that cannon we got hit by? The one that was supposed to drain us of our quintessence or whatever? And you even got eaten alive once…” He eyes well up, but he refuses to cry. Crying means that he believes that this is the end of the red paladin. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Keith says. His head lolls to the side for a moment before he shakes himself awake. They should move. Lance can’t just let him bleed out on some alien planet like this. Keith has so much more stuff to do, more dumb decisions to make. “Lance, listen. I… I’ve always admired you,” 

“No, no,” Lance shakes his head. His heart is thumping against his chest so hard it might give out. Though whether it’s from Keith running into battle, Keith getting shot, or Keith using his last words to say some sappy shit to Lance… it’s difficult to tell. “Don’t do this. We’ll get you help and you can tell me all about how you admire me later, okay?” 

“I’m not… saying it right,” Keith slides his hand out from under Lance’s. Though his movements are sluggish, Lance doesn’t see the fact that he’s reaching out to touch his face until he feels the soft brush of his fingers. “Wish I weren’t wearing the suit. Then I could…” He frowns, and struggles for words and for his next breath. Lance is torn between wanting to pick him up and just get to the castle and wanting to find out exactly what Keith wants to say. 

"Keith," Lance, for once, is at a loss for words. He wants more than anything for Keith to be okay. For Keith never to experience some stupid injury like this again. He's one of the most talented people he's ever known. So why is it he's the one whose dying? 

"I don't know how to be with people. Not really. You're better at that than I ever could be. But I wanted to... to," His eyes slip close for a moment. Lance panics and shakes him a little. Not now. Not like this. Keith stirs back to life, if only for a moment. "I wanted to be with you. To know what it was like," 

Lance, as if finally remembering that Keith's hand is on his face, places his own over and leans into the warmth. And yeah, he wishes that he wasn't wearing this suit either. “Keith I-” 

Behind them, he hears a series of explosions go off. The ground beneath them quakes so intensely, Lance nearly falls on top of Keith. He’s miraculously able to hold himself up with one hand, shielding Keith from any bullshit that might come. When it finally stops, he looks back up and all around him. The dust still lingers in the air, making it difficult to see the enemy’s position. Oddly, he felt safer when he knew what they were doing, or how close they were. 

They’ve gotta go. Lance has spent too much time here. It… won’t be comfortable, but there’s nothing else he can do. “Okay, Keith, we gotta-” He looks back down to find that Keith has passed out. “No, no, no,” Lance leans down, nearly pressing his ear to Keith’s face. He nearly melts in relief when he can hear the faint breathing. He’s not dead yet. There’s time. He’s gotta get Keith back to the ship now, he has to. 

Lance scoops him up into his arms, then starts to book it towards the lions. His mind is a mess of short prayers, such as please and live and not like this. Though he runs as fast as he can, it feels as though he’s moving through water. He can see Red in the distance but she’s too far and he’s not going to make it and Keith is going to die because of him and he can’t

Even from here, with all the dust in the air, he can see Red’s eyes come to life. Less than a second later, she jumping into the air and flying in their direction. He can’t tell whether it’s Keith she’s responding to, a residual connection that they must share, or if it’s him, her new paladin. Either way, he doesn’t care. He’s just grateful that Red has come to be the overbearing, overprotective lion she’s known to be. Once she lands (uncomfortably) close to him, Lance runs inside, hope starting to flicker inside of him. The castle isn’t too far out of orbit. With Kieth being the stubborn bastard that he is, he’ll hold on long enough to get inside the healing pod. 

He has to.

Hours later, when Keith is indeed tucked inside the healing pod, Lance is going out of his mind. Without the chaos of their last battle raging around him, he’s stuck thinking about the last conversation he had with Keith. It makes him wish he was frozen too. Like, what is he supposed to do now? Keith said something about admiring him and wanting to be with him. That’s what he said right? Lance can’t remember the exact words. He’s replayed that moment in his mind over and over again until it’s become distorted and probably unrecognizable from what actually went down. 

He’s barely sorted through his feelings of Keith almost dying in his arms. There have been lots of close calls, yeah, but this one felt too close. None of them have made the ‘if I die’ speech. At least, as far as he knows. And, to make another point to himself, maybe Keith would have said the same sort of things to anyone on the team. He said admired him, yeah. But that could mean anything! Keith’s got the social capabilities of a duck. 

Lance groans, and looks back up at Keith’s sleeping face. He’s going to be alright, but it’ll be a relief once he gets out of the pod and starts being his normal self again. Maybe when the pod finally opens, Lance can ask him what he meant. 

Lance gulps. He really has no idea what he's going to do about that. What he's going to say. Honestly, how would he even bring it up? 

Oh, hey Keith. Remember how we both thought you were dying in my arms and you decided to spill your heart out along with all the blood you were already bleeding? Yeah? Cool. Now, when you said you admired me did you mean it in a romantic way, or a platonic way or...? 

Actually, that speech isn't too terrible. As much as he's afraid to just outright ask Keith what he means, it's probably the approach he's going to have to take. When it comes to feelings Keith is either too dense or pretending to be to avoid having to talk about it. And at the moment, Lance can't really blame him. 

Because. Oh god. What if Keith really did just mean it in a platonic way? Or... what if he just wanted to say something nice right before he died as a last ditch effort to get into heaven? Shit. _Shit_. Okay. Cool it. Relax. Seriously. If that's what it is, then Lance can take it. He's handled dozens of rejections before, so this one shouldn't be that painful. 

(Except that it'd be coming from Keith.)

Lance groans loudly and leaves the room. He's got to relax. Everyone is alive and healthy. There's no reason to get himself this worked up. It's been a while since his thoughts have been this hellish, bungee jumping directly into the deepest hole in the universe. Minus the bungee cord. He's got his video games to take his mind off of this predicament. Once he's calmed down, he can think of this in a more rationalish way. 

Calming down, apparently, takes hours. Hours and hours of sitting in front of the screen, and dying far more times than he can count. The frustration is a nice distraction. Kind of. But it doesn't work as well as he wants it too. 

He's slumped against the way, the controller a few feet away. His eyes are burning. For now, he's died enough. Lance wonders what time it is. His thoughts and worries begin to pick up speed, reminding him that there's no escape from the present, try as he might.  
There's a knock at the door. 

"Come in," He doesn't really want to talk to anyone right now. They might have some great advice, but to get it, Lance would have to talk about his insecurities. No thank you.

It surprises him to see Shiro. Even though they're on the same team, Shiro never really seems to have time for him. Which is kind of a bummer since, even after getting to know him, Shiro is something of a hero to him. So him being here now makes him feel like he's in trouble. "Uh..." He stands up. It feels too informal to be sitting on the ground. "What's up?" 

"Keith just came out of the pod a few minutes ago. He's a little disoriented, but otherwise okay," Shiro says. It's amazing how much weight a few words can carry- or lift. 

"Thanks for telling me," Lance says. Where there was relief is now anxiety. That promise he made himself to talk to Keith wasn't _that_ serious was it? He should wait until Keith has had some time to rest anyway. He knows how weird it is to step out of the pod. Knowing that you almost died, that you lost a few hours of your life in stasis can do some weird things to the mind. So really, he's only being considerate by taking a step back. 

"I noticed you were in the room a lot, waiting for him. After what happened on that last mission, I'm not surprised," Shiro continues. "Why don't you go and see him? It might help you. The both of you," 

Lance has no idea how going to see Keith would help anyone, but Shiro has this way of making requests or suggestions sound mandatory. Whether or not that's his intention is kind of hard to figure out. "Definitely," He says, his voice a pitch higher than it normally is. After clearing his throat, he continues. "I mean yeah. I know," But then Shiro is still standing there and it's awkward as hell. If he just moved out of the way, then he could get changed into something a little less slept in and make his way towards Keith. In due time. 

"Don't overthink it," Shiro lays a warm hand on his shoulder. And wow, that hand has a calming effect more powerful than he expected. Lance expects more, but that's the exact moment that Shiro turns away, disappearing into the ether. 

Of course he's going to overthink it. That's one of his defining traits. At least, he thinks so. However, it's Shiro who asked him to go see Keith, and it's Keith he wants to see (even if he's scared shitless), so he actually does go to freshen up. 

Once he’s done that, Lance stares himself down in the mirror. He’s got this. He’s the man. And while he searches the castle, he carries himself with a sense of confidence. So what if Keith rejects him? So what if this all goes south? Plenty of fish in space. 

A mindset he’s able to keep until he can hear Hunk and Keith talk about something in the common room. He creeps just outside the doorway, straining his ears, trying to hear what they’re saying. It's too quiet for him to hear, though if he had to guess it's Hunk asking him all about what his favorite food is. He always tries to recreate something like that when someone has a major injury. Which is really nice and all, but Lance needs to talk to Keith before he loses his nerve. Oh god. Deep breath, he tells himself. Then, he walks into the common area. Keith and Hunk stop talking for a moment to look at him. Yes, he knows that his gait is stiff and weird, but this is what happens when he tries to act natural. 

"Oh, hey man," Hunk greets. He hasn't really shared with Hunk what went down besides the fear of losing a teammate. As much as he loves Hunk, the guy is a huge blabbermouth. With only 7 people on board the castle ship, Lance wants to avoid the plague that is gossip. "Guess what? I'm going to try and make mozzarella sticks tonight!" 

"That's cool," He replies. His eyes land on Keith, who isn't looking at him. He takes advantage of the situation and does a long once over. Keith, of course, looks better. As if he was never hanging onto edge of his life. He's got this small smile on his face that sends Lance's heart into a flurry. This is completely unfair behavior, he thinks. It's sabotage. He must know what he's doing. "You're getting really good with goo cuisine," 

"Aw, thanks man," Hunk blushes. "I want to try and make a batch or two before dinner tonight. Really perfect my technique. Those bread crumbs are a challenge that I will crush," That glint in his eye has been getting fiercer, Lance realizes. They've all had these small changes while up here. He glances at Keith again. The changes in the red (black?) paladin are a little less obvious, but he thinks the crew recognizes the trust and sense of humor that has begun to bubble to the surface. "See you guys! Take it easy, Keith," He waves and disappears. 

The silence that follows is unbearable. Oh god, Lance thinks again. There's no turning back. Just gotta dive in. Gotta ask Keith what he meant. "Uh-" Good start. Keep going. "So. Good to see that you're back in tip top shape," 

Keith snorts. "Thanks," 

Lance plops down on the couch next to Keith. He honestly can't tell whether the silence that continues to drag is from what's still unspoken, or because Keith isn't in the mood to chat at the moment. He's not sure which would be better. Though if Keith would rather be left alone, now would not be the best time to bring up the fact that he almost done while maybe confessing how he feels about Lance. 

But he promised himself he'd do this. If he doesn't try to do it now, who knows how long it will take for him to muster up the strength to do this again? As he takes a breath, Keith is the one who breaks the silence. 

"So, Shiro told me what you did," Keith's arms are crossed. He looks far away.

"Huh?" Why won't Keith just look at him? They usually don't have trouble with prolonged eye contact. 

"You got me back to the castle. Saved my life," Lance can see that he's rubbing his thumb against his knuckles. He finds himself focusing in on the movement. 

"Well, kinda," He gushes a little. "Red did most of the work. She flew in at the last moment like some knight in shining armor, but you were passed out by then," This is it. This is where he asks Keith about what he said right before. A perfect, smooth transition. “So, anyway-”

"Pretty sure I passed out before then," Keith says quickly. "I don't remember much after getting shot," 

Lance blinks. Keith still isn't looking at him. It takes a long, terrible moment to comprehend what was just said. "You... you don't remember what happened?" The common room feels oddly colder now. 

"Yeah. I... guess I passed out right away," 

Lance can barely hear him at this point. All that worry, all that deliberation... for nothing? It's a cruel irony, he realizes. Keith doesn't remember their bonding moment. What's more unfair is that Lance lied about forgetting the last one they had. "Oh. Yeah. Happens. We've all been there!" He laughs, and it sounds forced, even to him.

All the courage he had stored inside him for this moment dissipates into the air, never to return. Lance flashes Keith the finger guns before standing up and walking back towards the doorway. "Anyway! Glad to see you're alright! Catch you later!"

He speed walks towards his room. 

Of all the things he envisioned happening, that was not one of them. On one hand, he doesn't actually have to deal with the situation. But on the other, he kind of wants to deal with it. He wants to know how Keith feels about him, feels about them being together for _real_. But if he wants to do that, then he has to be the one to initiate the conversation. Admit to himself as well as Keith that he has feelings for him. 

Once inside the safety of his room he crashes onto his bed and groans heavily. 

He can't overthink this, like Shiro said. He's just got to come up with a plan on how to talk to Keith about his feelings. 

Should be easy enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overthinking has become something of a skill for Lance. At least, as much as avoiding has become a skill for Keith. This is Some Bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the unsatisfying conclusion! honestly, though, it felt kind of nice to make my shitty pot and not worry as much as i did in the past whether people would like it or not. and it turns out some of you did like what i wrote, so that's nice.
> 
> also, holy shit? i'm releasing this when I said i'm going to release this? 
> 
> someone burn me for being a witch

It's not easy at all. 

Oh god, Lance can't stop thinking about it. 

That day on the battlefield only continues to run through his mind at light speed. Keith said all those things, and he looked like he meant them too. But now it's like that never happened. As if they didn't share an intimate, terrifying moment together. All that has been erased. Plus, now he's waited far too long to bring it up again. If he goes up to him now, Keith will think that he's lying about it to make fun of him or something. Which, thanks hypothetical Keith for hypothetically thinking that of him!

Lance is losing his mind. He needs to talk about this, but he can't figure out who would be the safest option. Again, only 7 people on board, including him. In the end, he thinks it's just too dangerous to reveal how he's feeling. 

He can't even go to his hiding spot among the lions! Ever since the switch, Lance has lost Blue and gained Red. Blue was a comfort, always nudging him the right direction gently. But Red? She tells it to him like it is, without the sugar coating. Lance likes the sugar coating. He could use a little more sugar in his life. 

So instead, he's left hiding in one of the many observatories while watching a sea of stars pass by him. His drums his fingers against his knee. He aches for the warmth of his family. His sister would know what to say in this situation, he thinks. He could divulge all the stupid little details he's noticed since Keith has gotten out of the pod, and she'd tell him that most of them were irrelevant. She'd also tell him to just talk to Keith already. 

Easier said than done, he'd tell her. 

Keith and him, despite the camaraderie they've built up over the last couple of months haven't really actively hung out together. Not on purpose. And yet, he feels like Keith has been avoiding him. Sure, they still train together, still working out the kinks of this new team Voltron thing, but as soon as that's over Keith disappears. How is he so good at that? Probably too much time with the Blade. 

While Keith was in the pod, Lance missed him desperately. He was never too far away during meetings, almost always by his side. Since his return, Lance has discovered a brand new way to miss people. He hugs his knees close to his chest. 

There's a lot of things he misses, though, so he's almost kind of used to the familiar pang. 

For the hundredth time this week, Lance groans. He wonders why it was so much easier to get rejected by Nyma, or to chat up Plaxum. Was it because he knew there was no way anything would work between them? 

Nah, he's always hoping romance is just around the corner. He would love to see Plaxum again. She was so cool. In fact, with her super mermaid powers, she'd probably know what the thing to do here is. She was in the resistance, after all. Plaxum went after the truth. She helped save her entire planet from an evil plant thing. 

So if Lance could just emulate that for like, a minute that'd be great. Heck, he even got pretty close. Keith just tripped him up a little by having a shit memory. It’s not even the first time that happened. So all he has to do is ignore that crushing, semi-humiliating moment and do it again. Okay. 

Okay. 

Yeah. 

He's going to do this. Lance stands up. 

Don't overthink this and act. 

The more he thinks about it, the more that makes sense. It's what Keith would do in this scenario. When does Keith ever think about anything? That seems to work out more often than not. They're all still alive, so that's proof enough. 

It's just a little after their designated lunch time, so Lance goes to where he's positive Keith is. The training room. Personally, he believes that Keith should just take it easy every once in a while. All that training can't be good for him. Lance decides that if Keith magically decides to date him, that he'll help him relax. Have some actual fun sometimes. He knows that Keith knows what fun is. During the party on Arus he saw him laugh pretty hard with Hunk. Though if he's still being honest with himself, he wishes it was him who made Keith laugh. 

Still. 

As he rounds the corner, he realizes he doesn't hear the usual clashing sound of sword and staff. At first, Lance thinks it's because Keith is practicing hand to hand combat. Soon enough, he sees that that’s not the case. The training room is empty. Huh. He pokes his head through the doorway and checks the corners, just in case. Okay, so Keith isn't in here. The castle ship isn't that big, and Keith has his usual haunts just like everyone else. 

Lance finds himself in the common room. Shiro, Pidge, and Hunk are lounging around for a much needed break. It's not often he gets to see them chill like this, and his heart warms at the sight. But if even Shiro, workaholic extreme is here, then shouldn't Keith be lingering nearby? 

"Heya guys," He greets. Lance crosses his arms and leans against the back of the couch. "Any of you see Keith?"

Pidge doesn't bother to look up from their laptop when they shake their head. "He volunteered to go on one of those Blade missions. I guess almost dying isn't enough to slow him down," 

Hunk hums disapprovingly. "Yeah, and those Blade missions sound tough. He could've stuck around for a match of that video game Pidge has been programming," 

Lance frowns. He doesn't like it that Keith is gone, but it's only a matter of time before he comes back. But he can't help himself, and asks just when that is. No one seems to have an answer. That's what they get, he supposes, for having a ninja on the team. He huffs. 

"Don't worry, he'll be back before you know it," Hunk says in a placating tone. It bothers him just how smart Hunk is sometimes. But since Lance hasn't outright said he has feelings for Keith, he knows that Hunk won't spread the information around. Yet. That bomb is going to go off sooner or later. If his stupid, gifted, genius friends don't figure it out first, anyway. 

"Yeah, yeah. Hey Pidge, can I try that game you made?" 

Pidge lights up, and Lance knows that he didn't just choose the right distraction for himself, but for Pidge as well. 

-

Keith doesn't come back to the castle ship for two whole days. During that length of time, by the way, was spent in complete agony. It was easier to decide to ask Keith out when it was barely even a thought. Now that he's had time to think about it, he's had _time to think about it_. Again. Which means running scenario after scenario through his mind. Again. And guess what? Keith rejects him in almost every one! He's not always nice about it, either. 

Allura tells them that they have to visit a planet tomorrow, which means there won't be enough time for Keith to disappear on another mission, and just enough time for Lance to ask him out already. 

Tonight, he has to act. And he totally will. Once he showers, flosses, and puts on his Sunday best. 

So he goes in search of Keith. Who is once again, not in the training room, nor the common room, or even where they eat. This is some bullshit. Lance just ends up sitting at the table, with his head propped up by his hand. Sitting here alone, as a failure to his mission, Lance can’t help but think this is fate. He’s doomed to live with Keith’s nonsense the rest of his life, without actually having to be by his side.

"Lance?" He turns sharply at the sound of his name. Coran is standing just behind him, the impenetrable cheerful look ever present on his face. "Are you alright, my boy?"

To be honest, when Lance was trying to think about who to talk to about his stupid emotional dilemma, he hadn't even thought about Coran. Though there's no way for Coran to know that, he feels pretty bad. It's not as if the older Altean has never been there before. His advice has helped Lance more than once. And if he didn't understand what ancient alien metaphor meant, at least Coran's bright personality brought him out of whatever slump he found himself in. "It's stupid," He mumbles. 

"I’m sure that’s not true," Coran walks up to him, then sits by his side. "No matter the situation, your feelings on it are quite valid," He pats him on the back a little roughly. Is he just as strong as Allura? That is... unsettling to think about. 

"It's just... Keith said some personal stuff when he thought he was gonna die. I wanted to talk to him about it when he got out of the healing pod, but then he said he didn't remember anything after being shot," He sighs. "Now it feels like Keith is gone whenever I go to look for him, so I can't remind him of what happened, and it feels kind of like karma," 

"Karma?" Coran tilts his head a little. A human movement that he probably got from hanging around them too much. Idly, Lance wonders if there are any Altean-isms he's picked up. 

"It's this belief that whatever you do, good or bad, will come back to you. So when I said I didn't remember, it probably put some weird, chaotic energy out into the universe and replicated it. Except now it's Keith who doesn't remember," He groans loudly and throws his hands in the air, making Coran blink in surprise. "And I was lying about forgetting, too! Because I was embarrassed about being cradled, or whatever!" 

"I'm not sure I understand entirely, but if you want to talk to him, you should," Coran's smiles are always kind of gentle. It helps relax him, even if the anxiety still buzzes under his skin. "After all, that's the difference between this time and the last time," 

"Well, I already knew that," Lance complains. He knows that he has to talk to Keith. That's the easiest part of this whole thing. "I just have to corner him first. I don't get why he's avoiding me!" 

Coran hums. "Well, if it's this karma you're speaking of that's involved, wouldn't that mean that something similar is happening last time?" 

Lance narrows his eyes. "What do you mean?" Connections, against his will, begin to form in his mind. Connections that's he's afraid don't actually match up. Wishful thinking has a way of causing more pain than cynicism could ever hope to inflict. "You think... you think he _remembers_? You think he _lied_?" When Coran twirls the tip of his mustache, he knows that he's on the right path. This is some bullshit, he thinks. 

The more he thinks about it however, the more it kind of makes sense. Keith is a terrible liar. Allura even told him he should work on that, in case they're on some spy mission, or need to score some brownie points with diplomats they want to align themselves with. When Keith told Lance he didn't remember, he wasn't even looking him in the eye, was he? 

Then again, it's one of those memories he played in his mind a thousand times, and memories are a fickle thing. 

"You know what! Even if he doesn't remember, he's been avoiding me for no reason and that's shitty enough all on it's own. I'm gonna confront the hell out of him," He slams his fist into his open palm, determined. Lance deserves to know what Keith's deal is. He just hopes his deal is that he's embarrassed about having feelings for him, which seems like a pretty Keith thing to be embarrassed about. Lance stands tall and starts walking out of the small room he'd been hiding in. He looks over his shoulder and sends the older man a smile. "Thanks, Coran," He says sincerely. Then, he runs out of the room to hunt Keith down once and for all. 

No matter how big the castle is, there are only a limited number of rooms, and Keith is still human. Humanish. A creature of habit. So if he's not in the training room, or the dining or common room then where else could he be? 

A thought strikes him, and soon, Lance is booking it down the many hallways of the castle. 

There was a time when Lance would go to Blue when he was upset. She was a comfort to him, as soothing as the sound of waves upon a familiar shore. He misses her still. Even now, he feels the phantom brush of her thoughts against his own. He'll push back, but her presence is either gone, or it was never there in the first place. That distance hurts, but his new bond with Red has helped him. While their bond doesn't feel as natural as his did with Blue, they do seem to have a lot in common. Admitting that, even to himself, was hard. It meant he had more in common with Keith than he thought. So as he enters Red's hanger, he's not entirely surprised to see the rosy lights already shining against the walls. 

"Keith?" He calls out. 

There's a beat, then he sees Keith poke his head over the top of Red's nose. "Holy shit, how did you get up there?" He asks. Then Red bends her head until she's resting it atop her paws. It'll still be a climb to get up there, but it works to his advantage. Haha, Keith, he thinks. Can't get away from me now. 

Once Lance manages to scramble his way up Red's neck, he sees that Keith has his arms crossed. He can also see that Keith, once again, isn't looking at him. It's almost relieving. Part of him thought that he kind of just made that up. Now that he knows for sure it isn't all in his head, he's going to be nosy as hell and get to the bottom of this. 

That's when Red lifts her head high once more, the ground an uncomfortably long distance down. She must be butting in. Keith once warned him that Red can be weirdly active, sensing her paladin's distress. Though he has no idea how this will contribute to distressing him. Her amusement is evident, almost teasing in his mind. 

Bitch. 

"Hey man," Lance greets. He crawls over towards Keith, then sits with his legs crossed. "What's going on, huh? I've been looking for you for forever," Kind of, anyway. 

"Been busy," Keith grumbles under his breath. And no, that excuse is not going to work for him. 

"Uh, been busy avoiding me? Hiding on top of Red? C'mon, dude, what's going on?" He frowns. Keith's stupid long hair is doing a magnificent job of hiding his expression. Maybe that's why he grew it out. 

Keith's eyes flick to his, but only for a moment. Then, he says, "Just... stuff," The fact that that's his attempt at a lie is kind of sad. Part of him wants to laugh, but instead he just feels annoyed (and hurt). 

"Yesterday, maybe. When you were doing whatever stuff the blade does. But even before that, you've been weird. Since... since you got out of the pod," At least, he hopes that's when the weirdness started. But the doubt that always seems to be right around the corner begins to whisper in his ear. What if they never actually got along that well? What if Lance was reading into this? "It's kinda driving me crazy, so if I did something to make you upset, or mad can you just tell me so we can get past this?" 

Beside him, Keith runs his hands through his hair. That mop looks like it's never seen a brush in it's poor life. Lance wonders if he could help with that... Surely, Allura would have some styling products that would- no, _focus_. "No, I'm not mad at you. O-or upset. I'm just..." He groans, then throws his hands up. "I don't know how to do this," 

Lance can't stand another long, awkward moment. The moment's going to be awkward no matter what, but he's not about to beat around the bush anymore. "Do you remember what you said when you were dying, or what?" He blurts. Probably could've done it in a more elegant way, but he doubts Keith is going to pay too much attention to that. 

"Uh," Keith's eyes are wide. Then, as if by magic, Keith's face turns pink. It's adorable. "No?" 

"Hah! You totally do!" Lance points a finger in his direction. "You're avoiding me because you remember!" Keith looks away again, the shocked expression quickly melting into a frown. That's not what Lance meant to do, but hey, he's not so good at this either. At least, he's not when it comes to Keith. "Why did you pretend that you forgot?" 

"Because you're obnoxious and you're never going to let me live it down," Keith replies, his words prickly. "Can you just forget it, please? We have more important things to worry about than-" 

"Well I'm gonna cut you off right there. Because first of all, just because there's a war or whatever, doesn't mean that other things are any less important," Lance's heart starts to pick up the pace. He's really about to throw himself to the space dogs. "And you never even let me talk to you, anyway. You passed out in my arms, almost died, and then avoided me for forever," 

"A week, at most," Keith interjects. "This isn't funny. Just drop it," 

"Well, I'm not trying to be funny! I'm trying to tell you that I admire you right back, butthole!"

"You..." Keith takes a long moment. "You what?" 

"Well, I mean," Lance rubs at the back of his head. He used to imagine that confessing his admiration for someone would be a helluva lot more romantic like this. But when he thinks about who he's talking to, this scenario makes more sense than anything else he could come up with. "At least, if you mean you admired me in the like-like way. That's what I mean when I say admire you. That I like-like you. A lot. And I want to know what it's like to be with you. That's what you said right? Please say something so I can stop talking because I’m not really sure I can stop," He has to take in a deep breath afterwards, having said all that in one go. To his frustration, Keith is still staring at him with those big eyes. No one has the right to look that cute in a moment as anxiety as inducing as this. "Now would be good," He mutters. Now he kind of wishes that Red didn't lift her head like this. Keith isn't the only one trapped. 

"I wasn't... lying. That much. I remember the jist of it. What I said while I was dying," Keith finally admits. He's doing that thing, where he rubs his thumb across his knuckles. It's just as distracting as it was the last time. "I remember trying to tell you how I felt. I can't really remember how it ended up. But you had this weird look on your face when you came up to talk to me when I came out of the pod," He shrugs then. 

Lance can put the rest of the pieces together. If he was in Keith's position, he might've claimed he didn't remember either. He'd do it in a more convincing manner, but yeah. Still, Keith hasn't really replied to his confession. It's hard to ignore the unanswered question. It's the magic robotic lion in the room. He wants to be patient, but he's been patient enough over the last few days. "So... Do you regret it? Saying that kind of stuff? I guess being on your deathbed can make you say some weird shit, but... Yeah, please tell me how you feel? For real? I'll leave you alone if that's what you really want, but I at least gotta know," 

Keith bites his bottom lip, narrows his eyes, then turns to Lance. He's got that determined gleam in his eye, and it kind of scares Lance a little. “I don’t regret it,” Keith says. His words are quiet, but firm. “I hate that I waited until that moment. I guess I was just. I don’t know,” He begins to deflate, that confidence disappearing as if it had never been there in the first place. “Should we really be doing this in the middle of a war?” 

Lance snorts. “Uh, yeah? Duh? Remember how you almost died? You don’t seem like the kinda guy who wants to die without knowing what it’s like,” 

“What what’s like?” He frowns, as he’s known to do. 

“Well,” Lance takes a chance and reaches for his hand. When Keith doesn’t immediately snatch his hand back, it feels like a victory. But it’s only the first hurdle. “You didn’t really get that far before you passed out. So I’m just gonna guess couple-y kinda stuff. Or just giving it a shot. Do you want to try to do that? To give this a shot?” 

Keith’s smile brings warmth like the early morning sun. “You’re the sharpshooter here, but yeah. Let’s give it a shot,” 

“Yes,” Lance punches the sky. He honestly did not expect this outcome. And okay, Keith is already rolling his eyes, but he’s still smiling. He’s still here with him. That’s all the incentive he needs to seal this deal with a kiss. He uses his free hand to tuck a strand of dark hair behind Keith’s ear, cups his cheek, and pulls him in. 

For someone so hot tempered and rough around the edges, his kisses are warm and soft. Lance struggles not to smile against his lips and ultimately fails. He pulls back to press his forehead against Keith’s. “Just so you know, if you ever wait until you’re dying to tell me something that important again, I’ll just speed up the process and kill you then and there,” 

Keith snorts. “Fair enough,” 

They lean in to kiss each other once more. Lance figures they have some time before the rest of the team starts to look for them. But who is going to stop them anyway? They’re the team leader and the right hand man. They’re unstoppable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this confidence experiment with me. i encourage you to write your own shitty pot stories, if only to get over the nerves. also, thank you to tumblr user jinxthetrickster for being my 69th follower! i'd like to maybe hit 100 followers this year, which for someone who has been on tumblr for a long (long long long) time is kind of sad lol. maybe if i did comics instead, but alas,
> 
> but i digress. 
> 
> if you want to follow me on tumblr (i will often write drabbles for those who send me an ask!) my username is miraculance. thanks again for being here! <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> oh hey my dudes thank you for reading. one more part that i'm trying to get out on the 23rd. also i literally only have 68 followers on tumblr. so if one of you could follow me so i have at least 69? if not for me, do it for the meme. my tumblr is miraculance. 
> 
> thank you so much for reading! <3 <3 <3


End file.
